Google it...if you dare.

Did you know if you Google Tastys Big Butt it shows up on the same page as Big Ass Porn?
Of Course you did!!



This is an excerpt from Wikipedia.
"Super mom" does not exist. You can ask for it to be created, but consider checking the search results.

Dear Wikipedia:
You are wrong. I know at least 2 supermoms that exist.

I am wiped out. I just finished drinking a cup of crack coffee (see 2 cups of coffee and a bike) trying to muster up the energy to go pick up the boy from summer camp. I know that I probably won’t sleep now until midnight, but that’s the price I pay for the JOY of having kids.
The reason I looked up super mom in Wikipedia was because I in no way measure up to those women who can do it all and I was hoping that Wikipedia could tell me the secret. Nope.

One of them is my friend Alima. She has 4 children. 2 of them are twins. 3 of them are girls. She doesn’t sweat it. She wanted to have 4. I remember when she made the announcement that she was having one more and I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, and thought. “She’s fucking crazy.” What I said was: “Really? You want another one? Good for you.” (Crazy Bitch.)
And now she shares with me all the cute little anecdotes that they say, because kids say the cutest things. And she’s busy all the time. She is currently remodeling her house and keeping all of us apprised of new toilets that are on the market. In the meantime, she takes them to every event, every game, every gathering. She is on the PTA, volunteers for this thing and that, keeps lists, does something with other people dealing with their finances, she’s married, exercises (at least sometimes) One week she tells me that she is not doing one more thing, and the next week she is telling me about her new project. Cripes Almighty! Just listing everything she does here is making me yawn.

These kinds of moms impress me. I’ve decided to make a “SUPERMOM OF THE WEEK” Award, and this week it goes to Alima. (Clapping in the background)

I wish I could be more motivated, but I’ve done this mom thing once. My oldest son is 20, and I did the Disneyland and the fundraisers, and all the JOYS that parenting comes with. Now when my younger son brings home the fundraising packet from school to buy cookie dough-

I don’t ask friends and family if they want to buy any because I tapped them out already. Instead, I ask the boy what prize he wants for making the most money, he points to the biggest prize and then angrily I shake my head and say, I’m sorry honey, but this is the prize you are going to get. They are out of those giant prizes. I don’t even know why they put it on this flyer. I’m calling the school right now! Then I write a check for $25.00 and send it off so he can get the small prize. Sigh. Bad mom? Maybe not awful, but definitely not Super mom.


Katya Askar said...

This cracked me up!!!!! Great writing sista!!

Joanna said...

Alima!! good choice and definitely deserving.

Ruth McNally said...

Cute taye!!