Google it...if you dare.

Did you know if you Google Tastys Big Butt it shows up on the same page as Big Ass Porn?
Of Course you did!!

Saturday

"What Do You Do All Day?"


I have been sitting here staring at this blank screen for about 30 minutes now. There is so much to tell...so much it seems overwhelming. So I made the decision to go downstairs and make myself some Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I'm not really hungry, but I know that the whole process from beginning to end, if I take my time, will stall me about 25 minutes. That includes the eating part. I can add a few more minutes to this 'break' if I do the dishes immediately afterward, which is what BTM would want. And I do really want to make him happy.
BTM and I had a knock down drag out verbal disagreement last week. You see, he works very hard. He is gone long hours and has a lot of pressure on him. So my job these days has been to take of myself, (LOL) our home (through the holidays, including all the gifts) and the family. (With a new addition of my oldest son's girlfriend who now lives with us)
Without going into the morbid details of his self righteous frustration, I will just say that last Friday while he was in the shower getting ready for work at 6:00 a.m. and I was downstairs assisting him with whatever he needed to get out the door, I suddenly heard this call for me. It wasn't the friendly honey-come-keep-me-company call. Nope. It was more of a direct get-your-ass-up-here-right-now sort of order.
Making my way up the stairs, I heard a little banging and muttering. Uh-oh. What had I done? Were we out of toilet paper? Out of soap? It couldn't be that we were out of hot water. The kids were not up. Curiously but cautiously rounding the corner, I put on my best happy face and asked,"yes, honey?" The shocking reply went something like this; "Listen, I don't know what you do around here all day, but I want you to get a pen and paper and make a list of what I want done today. Clearly you need a little guidance in this area."
I just looked at him, and then slowly turned and walked out of the bathroom. It took about 5 minutes for his words to sink in. I bought into it, and suddenly it was like putting my hand into a lit fire. I reacted in a way that probably woke up the neighbors. This disagreement lasted through the weekend. The nerve. After all, how very ungracious of him. But I have mentioned before that he is better than me.
In my defense, we had a party that took weeks of planning, and days to take down. I worked relentlessly tearing it down for 3 days before a minor stomach bug hit me thanks to the addition to the family. I shall call her 18 and in perfect shape.
In the commotion of the verbal brawl, BTM dug himself into a very deep hole, stating that surely things don't take as long to complete as I say they do. And to make his point he scooped up the little one's crayons and art projects that had transformed our living room into an art studio. It took him about about 10 seconds to gather it all up and put it on the kitchen island, announcing as he did this- "There. Done. How hard was that?"
"Well. I don't know," I countered. "Did you sort through everything and take out the most brilliant pieces to hang up? I'm sorry but moving the mess from one place to another doesn't make it go away." And so went the weekend. of course, we kissed and made up later. What would a marriage be without a good old fashioned argument once in a while? Especially around the holidays.
Yes it is the holiday season once again. The stress, the parties, the food, the endless gifts and tralalaling have entered our worlds with gusto.
I always hear about arguments, family dysfunction, and overall bah humbugging, and my family is not exempt. It wasn't all bad. We had a lovely Holiday after all and love has descended upon my home once more.
But what about me? What am I to do with me? It has been exactly a year since I swore to the whole world that I would lose weight. What a journey it has been. I can't wait to share it with you tomorrow.

11 comments:

Tasty's Big Butt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I like the 'setting the crayons on the kitchen island' part and thinking he had done the job! That's hilarious! Keep 'em coming!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Wow. That was great. Thank you for sharing.--Lea

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you didn't haul him out of the shower and kick his ass.--Laurie

Tasty's Big Butt said...

I am glad you guys made up.It's been a long time since I had one of those kinda arguments. Not sure if I miss it or not though hmmmm--Deb A.

Anonymous said...

Jennifer Jesseph-
Yeah our house looks like the set of Sanford and Son, no really.... We are just such a mess here. We need a party soon to clean up. Then it just goes back to... the GD set of Sanford and Son. Really.

Tasty's Big Butt said...

Cookie Schwartz Diaz---
I just got through reading some of your blog. I couldn't get through it all because tears were flowing down my face from laughing and crying so hard. You are an amazing and beautiful woman and a fantastic writer. You should really publish a book, if you haven't done so yet. I really relate to all the fat stuff, since I have done every ... See Morediet, fat pill, shot, exercise program and weight loss center, including Lindora, Weight Watchers (3 times) and have been on Nutrisystem for the second time for almost a year. This is in addition to just recently joing OA, which by the way, I love. Anyway, I had to tell you how much I enjoyed reading your blog and hope to get through the rest of it. We should form a walking group and have a tag telephone thingee so that none of us can use an excuse to not do it. Once again, I had a blast at your party and am sorry there was so much turmoil in the preparation and cleanup. Maybe next year BTM can do it all himself.

Anonymous said...

Rebekah Dee
Just read rescue n rip...why does it feel awkward to uncontrollably (I'm sure spelt incorrectly) laugh in the absence of others? Anyway thank u for the genuine LOL it was fabulous...almost peed me pants!!! definitely better than mediocre s*x. More please. :o)

Anonymous said...

Carla Boyd
Great Blog! loved it, so funny and so can relate! Keep writing, you are good!

Textual Selection said...

Very funny, T. Please blog more often!