Google it...if you dare.

Did you know if you Google Tastys Big Butt it shows up on the same page as Big Ass Porn?
Of Course you did!!

More about Me

More about Me….These are things I am completely qualified to talk to you about.

Just as a precursor to what you read here, just remember, YOU came here, I didn’'t beg you to. And remember, not matter how hard your life has been; I win.

I was born to a guy who was a deputy for the Los Angeles Sheriffs Department and a woman who at one time was a pregnant runaway from Minnesota. Apparently she was young and fled Minnesota in shame from her pregnancy and came to California. I don’'t know why, and Aunt Delores, my only living relative who does know is taking it with her to the grave. Any how, my mom got a job in a donut shop, where she met my dad, the cop. Donuts and cops go together in case you missed it. Stay with me.


My dad the cop, who was a raging alcoholic, shot and killed my mom at a restaurant in front of me and my older brother. Yes, it is shocking. And yes, it's true and I can prove it.


I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Loud noises will send me running for cover.
I have Tourettes Syndrome, but not the kind where you swear. Sorry Bitches. I know you wanted to listen to me go off.
I was a runaway, which was not as fun as I had hoped it would be.
I did a little time in a children’s home and foster care.
I had panic attacks that struck so severely that I got hysterical blindness and deafness. Like Helen Keller, only I got my senses back. Oh. And I could talk.
I had a stalker for 3 years. That guy was a total freak and one day he just stopped. I moved to Colorado during this time where they had a 'make my day' law. The law included being able to shoot someone from a really long distance 'because you are in fear for your life.'
I went through a divorce. It went pretty well.
I had Stage 3B Breast Cancer and many surgeries, including having both my tatas sliced off.
I now have Rheumatoid Arthritis and some degenerative spine thing, but it’s cool. I live to tell about it. And I'm not a cripple.
I danced naked on tables in the ‘80s. Sometimes for money. Because it was fun and I was self-destructive. Thank God someone got to see my beauties before they were cut off. Don’t judge me.
Oh yeah, and I had some crazy eating disorder called anorexia, that after years of therapy I discovered was due to the fact that my dad shot my mom while we were eating. Problem solved. I went the other way, and now I’'m fat.

TODAY MY LIFE…...Is totally great.

I am married to BTM and have been with him for 13 years.
I have 2 amazing kids. One who is in the NAVY doing some top secret stuff and a younger boy that is beautiful and talented. They are WAY different than I was as a kid. Which is a good thing.
I co-own a great business in Interior/Artistic Design and Development. See it here:
I have a totally incredible group of friends. And they are hot.
I survived it all.

Things I Love To Do
Anything extreme. BTM and I could probably win The Amazing Race.
SCUBA and Snorkel
Go to beautiful Hotels.
Ride my Harley. That’'s right bitches. I have my own ride.
Negotiate. I should have been a lawyer.