Google it...if you dare.

Did you know if you Google Tastys Big Butt it shows up on the same page as Big Ass Porn?
Of Course you did!!


Dear Chaz Bono; I Still Have My Labia.

I am about to tell you some surprising facts. And then I am going to give a few personal opinions.

First Fact. My oldest son, IKE, is related to Chaz Bono. So, as a FAMILY member, I have the right to comment on her. Him. I know you want to know how IKE/Chaz are related, so here it is. IKEs Great Grandmother was a Bono. Her sister begat Sony Bono. Sony is Chazs' father. He died in a skiing accident after being the mayor of Palm Springs and outlawing thong bikinis. Anyway.

Second Fact. Chaz and I have an enormous amount of things in common. Like the whole transgender thing. Wait for it...

When I had Breast Cancer, I had bi-lateral mastectomy's. Lost both boobies. Then, because I had estrogen receptive cancer, the doc decided I would do better, (whatever that means) if I had a total hysterectomy. Sure, why not? Take it, I said.

I lost my hair, my tatas, and my parts. Ass-kicking but still alive. It was all cool until one day when I was in treatment, I was watching some day time court TV show, and I discovered that in some states, I could be considered a MAN. Because I had undergone a sex change. Un wittingly.

If you could only imagine my confusion. I had been a tomboy. (male) But I had kids. (Female) I love wearing guys clothes. (male) But I also love wearing girls clothes. (female) You can see how this rocked my world. Who was I? The good news is if I ever have to go into hiding, I can totally move to another state and legally check male when applying for a new drivers license. Woot!

Ok. Back to Chaz. He knowingly had a sex change.

And got a penis that pumps up. Right on. Good for him. Personally, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But here comes the opinion. Everyone knows you are a woman that doesn't want to be one. And since you are a celebrity-(ish) you can't just move and start over. Your womanhood will follow you forever, no matter how hard you try.

That is all whatever. What concerns me most is your upcoming appearance on Dancing with the Stars. I think you are very brave, because you have no chance of winning. Not because you are transgender, although that will play a big part in your loss with the mid America set. No. It's the fact that you have stated you are ONLY going to wear a tasteful tuxedo. Sorry. Buzz. XXX. You will not be winning. We all want to see the costumes! The guys who wear the tight pants and the Paso Doble outfits. The guys who dress up in rock star outfits and unbuttoned to their wastes flamenco shirts.

You clearly do not take after your mother CHER, who LOVES to dress up. We get that. We understand that you have made a decision. But it just seems to me that if you were truly brave, you would don the costume. Just sayin. Because you're not the only one who has had a sex change operation. Big deal. You are not special.

Also, having a sex change is not all it's cracked up to be. I should know. Hot flashes, weight gain, whiskers, (which we all know you are trying to grow)a deeper voice, a bitchier, (I mean more manly) attitude...oh the list goes on. And I still loook like a woman. And I still have my labia. So I guess this makes me a transgender transvestite?

Good luck Chaz. I'll vote for you. Because that is what family does.


Cookie Schwartz Diaz said...

Love your blogs, Taye. They make me laugh and cry at the same time. You are brilliant and I love your humor. I wish I could say some of the stuff you say but my hubby hates when my NY sarcasm comes out. Love you!

Lissa Baren said...